(on the back) I'm winning!
of 55 votes, 27% like it
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Abra Kadabra TRAPDOOR Alakazam!
of 53 votes, 6% like it
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American Idol Reject #92,821.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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An apple a day will keep the doctor away if you throw hard enough
of 53 votes, 32% like it
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Apple makes healthy computers.
of 54 votes, 17% like it
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As long as you say no offense, words are harmless
of 54 votes, 35% like it
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Avoid underwater scratch and sniff stickers.
of 54 votes, 6% like it
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Baseball, America's crotch scratching pastime.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Brail is so (bunch of dots)
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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Breaking and Entering doesn't apply to glass houses.
of 42 votes, 7% like it
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Camping is like going on vacation as a homeless person.
of 56 votes, 34% like it
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Candy corn is good one month every year.
of 38 votes, 8% like it
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Childproof? More like Humanproof.
of 56 votes, 16% like it
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Chile, Hungary and Turkey are Countries
of 53 votes, 15% like it
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Cows need swingsets too.
of 54 votes, 11% like it
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Detectives need to read between the crimes.
of 53 votes, 17% like it
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Don't ever be a pinata for Halloween.
of 53 votes, 19% like it
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Duck Duck Goose Veteran.
of 54 votes, 15% like it
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Flawless Victory.
of 55 votes, 15% like it
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Hero of tomorrow's yesterday.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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Hogwarts Alumni
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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Hopscotch is hard for people with crutches.
of 54 votes, 17% like it
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How do you mistake a wolf for your grandmother riding hood?!
of 9 votes, 22% like it
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I always cheated at heads up 7-up.
of 53 votes, 11% like it
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I am Smarter than a 5th Grader.
of 56 votes, 11% like it
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I can't find anyone to play hide and seek with.
of 54 votes, 20% like it
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I don't like junkfood. Junkfood likes me.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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I don't own a calculator because I'm friends with asian kids.
of 54 votes, 20% like it
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I Endorse Pay-Per-View Pillow Fights
of 55 votes, 7% like it
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I know every state capital in Spanish. Just getting ready.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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I live in a house of cards, but my roomate's a total joker.
of 54 votes, 17% like it
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I live in a house of cards, but roomate's a total joker.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
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I live life one inside joke at a time.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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I love gourmet microwavables
of 43 votes, 19% like it
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I played Roadrunner on Looney Toons.
of 53 votes, 6% like it
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I sell pocket protectors to nerdy kangaroos
of 10 votes, 0% like it
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I still don't understand the birds and the bees.
of 55 votes, 15% like it
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I superglue quarters to the ground and watch people struggle.
of 53 votes, 19% like it
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I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Hah! Made you look!
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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I'd run for President, but I'd rather walk.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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I'll work out tomorrow.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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I'm somebody's kid.
of 55 votes, 15% like it
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I'm straight and well rounded.
of 56 votes, 11% like it
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iCob Digital Corn
of 53 votes, 9% like it
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If at first you don't succeed pour iching powder on your opponent
of 53 votes, 9% like it
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If life were more like little-league, we'd we all got trophies
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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If you give a moose a muffin the zookeepers will yell at you.
of 52 votes, 17% like it
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Inventor of brail text messenging.
of 20 votes, 0% like it
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Jack and Jill used the escalator.
of 53 votes, 13% like it
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Jello is more mysterious than one might think.
of 53 votes, 11% like it
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Jokes without punchlines are pointless stories.
of 52 votes, 15% like it
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Junk food is the best kind of food.
of 54 votes, 7% like it
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Kangaroos tend to steal stuff.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
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Look both ways before crossing over from PC to Mac.
of 56 votes, 9% like it
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Master of My Microwave.
of 54 votes, 9% like it
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Max volume isn't loud enough for me.
of 54 votes, 11% like it
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Milk is overrated.
of 53 votes, 4% like it
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My best friend thinks I'm imaginary.
of 55 votes, 25% like it
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My interest in math is dividing at an exponential rate.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
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My lunch box is bigger than yours.
of 53 votes, 17% like it
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My pillow does my hair.
of 55 votes, 35% like it
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Nobody knows what DVD stands for.
of 54 votes, 7% like it
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Old school high definition punk rocker
of 36 votes, 6% like it
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One hour photo, for instant nostalgia.
of 53 votes, 8% like it
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Orange: hip hop's worst enemy
of 6 votes, 33% like it
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Paintball: an extreme sport or a new decorating method?
of 48 votes, 21% like it
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Paper airplanes for the bored soon to be pilot.
of 54 votes, 7% like it
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Party like a rockstar, minus the drug addictions
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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Peace and quiet doesn't apply to me.
of 53 votes, 8% like it
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Peacocks are much more lethal than they appear.
of 54 votes, 20% like it
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People seem to forget the ending for Goldilocks.
of 54 votes, 20% like it
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Pepe Le Pu is a smelly pedofile.
of 10 votes, 0% like it
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Ping-Pong: Fun Sober, Better Drunk.
of 54 votes, 13% like it
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Professional Indoor Hang Glider
of 55 votes, 4% like it
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Recess was always better than lunch
of 53 votes, 13% like it
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Rock and Roll and the Pursuit of Happiness
of 27 votes, 4% like it
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Rock crushes scissors. Scissors slice paper. Paper covers rock?
of 55 votes, 18% like it
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Saying "I like kids" is like saying "I like people
of 15 votes, 0% like it
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Shamu is the hundred ton skunk of the ocean.
of 54 votes, 4% like it
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Sharks fear me.
of 54 votes, 6% like it
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Sleeping is a sport.
of 54 votes, 17% like it
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Space is cool, but there's no air guitar.
of 53 votes, 26% like it
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Staples. A less sexual alternative to nails, nuts and screws
of 55 votes, 27% like it
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Surfing is fun, but you might get eaten.
of 53 votes, 9% like it
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The other side of the pillow knows cool
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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The other side of the pillow: making hot-heads cool since 1999
of 1 votes, 0% like it
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There was a time before cell phones.
of 53 votes, 13% like it
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There's a mystery behind wallpaper.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
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They named oranges before carrots.
of 51 votes, 22% like it
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Undercover Lumberjack.
of 53 votes, 13% like it
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Vampires were never attractive in my day. They just counted stuff
of 7 votes, 29% like it
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Waterfalls are overrated
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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When in doubt hide in a brick house with farm animals.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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When in doubt jump on trampolines.
of 54 votes, 7% like it
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When it rains cats and dogs wear a flea collar.
of 55 votes, 15% like it
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Yoga. Turning people into pretzels.
of 54 votes, 20% like it
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