Math kills your soul.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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This is my suit
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is superfantastawesogreat!
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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Vwls r srs bsns
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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I traded my soul to make room for sarcasm
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Sarcasm: the body\'s natural defense against stupidity
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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I'm sorry about my chronic apologizing
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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I'm so slick, slugs are jealous!
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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My T-shirt. There are many others like it, but this one's MINE.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
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I'm not as thunk as you drink I am
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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Born awesome, grew awesomer.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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I walk out of my way to step on crunchy-looking leaves
of 33 votes, 30% like it
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I drive out of my way to hit puddles
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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FACT: I rule
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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Homework kills trees. Then they tell us to save the environment.
of 32 votes, 31% like it
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Where are my angry eyes?
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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You are now aware that you want muffins.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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What can I say? I'm just that cool.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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I'm not short, I'm space efficient.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
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Yes, I am a superhero. No, you can't wear my cape.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
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Proud owner of a dirty mind
of 42 votes, 19% like it
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Thanks for putting up with my uncontrollable twitching
of 43 votes, 12% like it
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Me, myself and I are not narcissists!
of 35 votes, 3% like it
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Enough said
of 43 votes, 9% like it
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I never said it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.
of 42 votes, 24% like it
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I'm just wearing black until they invent something darker
of 41 votes, 22% like it
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If I offer you anything, it's because I want you to say no
of 34 votes, 6% like it
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Sorry you misinterpreted my brillant joke as horribly offensive
of 33 votes, 42% like it
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Don't judge me, I'm weak
of 41 votes, 22% like it
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Siblings: similar but definitely not better
of 41 votes, 22% like it
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Gasp! This news is startling!
of 37 votes, 11% like it
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Alcohol will make you think you're whispering when you're not
of 38 votes, 24% like it
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I have mad Tetris skills that will put me on top!
of 38 votes, 8% like it
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Pointless stories are my thing
of 37 votes, 16% like it
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I want to slap people who mix up their/they're/there
of 37 votes, 19% like it
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This shirt is available worldwide and globally
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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I self five
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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Chemistry is not my friend
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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This is an awesome person
of 45 votes, 13% like it
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Say no to drugs. Say yes to cheese.
of 46 votes, 20% like it
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I'm amazingly amazing
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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Dork: confused by Really Cool Stuff
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Nerd: understands and collects Really Cool Stuff
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Geek: understands, creates and fixes Really Cool Stuff
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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If found, give chocolate
of 46 votes, 24% like it
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Woah, dream big!
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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If I run for president, my affiliation with you will haunt me
of 46 votes, 15% like it
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To save time, I'd like you to know that I'm utterly insane
of 47 votes, 21% like it
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Is there more to life than being ridiculously good looking?
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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Quite frankly, I don't give a damn
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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Whatev, you're obvi just jeal cos I speak in abbrevs
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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THE DEMENTORS ARE COMING!
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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I'm so not stalking you
of 46 votes, 22% like it
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Will dance for awesome ninja powers
of 45 votes, 27% like it
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I'm not drunk, the floor just won't stay still.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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Hello, can I annoy the hell out of you?
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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My funny shirt is funnier than your funny shirt!
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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Warning: psycho standing in front of you
of 45 votes, 13% like it
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All hail the highlighter!
of 50 votes, 8% like it
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Only witty people get this
of 48 votes, 27% like it
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Spammers: the reason and result of brain damage
of 49 votes, 8% like it
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Whenever you're sad, stop being sad and be awesome instead
of 49 votes, 16% like it
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Stripy socks will take over the world, like stripy shoes once did
of 48 votes, 2% like it
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Cheese makes the world go round
of 48 votes, 13% like it
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HAHA! Please.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
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I speak with movie references because THIS IS SPARTA!
of 50 votes, 22% like it
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I think everybody should be like everybody
of 49 votes, 14% like it
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Just remember you're going to die
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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I thoroughly enjoy being inappropriate
of 49 votes, 29% like it
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Why would I speak to people when I can talk to them online?
of 49 votes, 27% like it
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I have no affiliation whatsoever with the person beside me
of 49 votes, 20% like it
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Well it was nice knowing you, but its time to curl up and die
of 49 votes, 6% like it
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Sarcastic comment loading...
of 49 votes, 31% like it
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Enthusiastically apathetic
of 49 votes, 33% like it
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Check out my KILLER DANCE MOVES
of 49 votes, 16% like it
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Yes, I was born different: I was born intelligent
of 49 votes, 27% like it
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Stress: caused when the mind overrides the need to choke somebody
of 49 votes, 31% like it
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So far, I'm not impressed
of 48 votes, 19% like it
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I think, therefore we have nothing in common.
of 48 votes, 29% like it
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I'd agree, but then we'd both be wrong
of 48 votes, 29% like it
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I'm so cool, ice cubes are jealous of me
of 49 votes, 14% like it
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I need ligaments!!
of 48 votes, 4% like it
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I just told a joke
of 49 votes, 2% like it
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It's not swearing if it's true.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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Peace make, war not
of 49 votes, 10% like it
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Enviromentalists just make me want to destroy the planet more
of 48 votes, 15% like it
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HAHA! Wait...What?
of 48 votes, 17% like it
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New and Improved Version: 2.7.5.3.8.6.9.1 III
of 50 votes, 8% like it
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This smile is fake.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
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I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there
of 49 votes, 24% like it
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I'll wait until you turn around before I start running away.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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A balanced diet is having a hamburger in each hand
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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Only great minds (like mine) can see the beauty of hamburgers.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
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If you can't pronounce it, you can't afford it.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Mosquitos: evil dictators controlling the top of the food chain
of 46 votes, 15% like it
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I was named after a prophet
of 46 votes, 7% like it
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Nicely done
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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A salute to general knowledge
of 48 votes, 17% like it
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I'm your bro, and I'm like Yoda: I'm Broda!
of 49 votes, 12% like it
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It's so hard to be friends with me because I'm so awesome.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
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I'n going to do this Han style: Solo.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
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I prefer the term 'eccentric'
of 48 votes, 25% like it
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It's not a problem if you're awesome at it.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
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Do you have a tissue? My nose is overflowing with awesome.
of 48 votes, 29% like it
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You know that joke you cracked last week? I still don't get it.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
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Yes offence.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
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I'll tell you tomorrow.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
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Sorry to interrupt, but I see food.
of 49 votes, 18% like it
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Excuse me while I gag.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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My phone broke, so I'm gonna curl up and die now.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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Can we cut down on the drama? It's getting unhealthy.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Instant messaging doesn't work so let's text instead!
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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I see a PENGUIN!!!
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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What can I say, I have a natural curiousity.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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Are giant mushrooms friendly?
of 47 votes, 9% like it
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Laugh like I said something funny.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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Don't open the door to knock-knock jokes.
of 47 votes, 19% like it
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Automated doors make me feel like a jedi.
of 50 votes, 56% like it
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Up for loud repetitive music that hasn't changed since the 90s?
of 53 votes, 25% like it
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Nobody's hotter than God.
of 54 votes, 11% like it
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BUT I GOTTA PEE!!!
of 54 votes, 7% like it
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Yes, we are related.
of 54 votes, 13% like it
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Tea is nothing but hot leaf juice.
of 55 votes, 31% like it
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Fear me. I know magic kung fu.
of 54 votes, 24% like it
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Convincing optimistic arguement.
of 53 votes, 8% like it
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Sarcastic skepticism.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
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Hello, random stranger I can exhibit naive optimism towards
of 54 votes, 24% like it
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PHONE FIVE!
of 54 votes, 9% like it
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It's gonna be LEGENDARY
of 54 votes, 22% like it
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Prince Charming ain't REAL?
of 52 votes, 15% like it
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The tragedy of life: everything changes
of 53 votes, 15% like it
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I blame the gnomes.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
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The elves did it.
of 51 votes, 27% like it
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You know who can solve that problem? Future me.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
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Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?
of 46 votes, 24% like it
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How's that workin' for ya?
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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I'm on a diet. Tomorrow.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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I'm so great, sometimes I think I should just marry myself.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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I'm so awesome.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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Patience is a virtue; now get out of my way.
of 44 votes, 18% like it
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Time to show off our secret handshake!
of 46 votes, 24% like it
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I'm in charge around here. The parents just think they are.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
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What is this diet word you speak of?
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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Can't you see I'm talking to my imaginary friend?
of 44 votes, 23% like it
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Step aside, you're standing on my invisible dog.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
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I told you not to go there, but NO...you had a COUPON.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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Global warming: Take action now! Turn on the air con!
of 45 votes, 11% like it
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Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that.
of 43 votes, 12% like it
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El gasp!
of 45 votes, 13% like it
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Gaspeth!
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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If we're not supposed to eat animals, why is meat so tasty?
of 44 votes, 20% like it
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Cakeophilic
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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I'm not a slacker, I'm just motivationally challenged.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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